"I hate it!" I yelled, flinging my New Testament at my fiancé's feet, all the while, cringing inside at the hideousness of my own behavior. At the time, I really didn't understand what had triggered this reaction, neither did my stunned fiancé. All I knew was that I was tired and burned out. This Christian religion was not working for me. Truth is, I was believing that my worth was based on my ability to keep all of God's commandments. Most days I thought I was actually doing well. Pride is quite blind. This day was different. God, in his severe mercy, removed the blinders from my eyes. The Bible, acting like a mirror, revealed every blemish and wrinkle, making me see my own ugliness. Over the following weeks and months I became increasingly depressed, until I reached a point where my sins overwhealmed me and my strength completely failed me. Little did know that this was the exact place God wanted me to be. Realizing that I had nothing to give to God, but my weakness and ugliness, I was surprised to find out that God had known this all along, and still loved me! Grateful to a God, who created everything out of nothing, and who was willing to take my empty, dirty hands and fill them with forgiveness and the righteousness of Christ, I finally began to understand grace. He took my ashes and turned them into something beautiful!
Five years after our wedding, my husband actually became a professor of NT. He is very glad that I have stopped flinging Bibles. Instead, I daily come to my Lord empty-handed. His grace is sufficient!
2. Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."