I have a confession to make: I am absolutely horrible at remembering people's faces. This has gotten me into trouble more than once. A few years ago I spent a week with my friend Susie in North Carolina. On Sunday we attended church together. That same evening a surprise visitor stopped by to see Susie's family. I readily extended my hand to greet him. "You look familiar," I noted, "have we met before?"
"I can tell my sermon from this morning did not leave a great impression on you!" her pastor replied. Talk about embarrassing!
Another time I enthusiastically approached an unfamiliar-looking lady at my home church. Desiring to make her feel welcome, I asked whether this was her first visit. "You have already greeted me two other times in this way," she retorted huskily. I am relieved that she continued to come to our church in spite of my poor recognition skills.
Well, yesterday it happened again. During an end-of-year school program I paid close attention to all the teachers' mannerisms and words in order to ascertain who I would prefer to have as a teacher for my daughter, Toria, during the next school year. One teacher stood out as an extremely sweet lady, whom her pupils hugged often and who mentioned teaching Vacation Bible School. Unfortunately, her name was never mentioned, and, going by my visual memory of her face, I ended up requesting a similar-looking teacher, whom I knew nothing about.
That night I lay awake in bed, upset about this mishap. "What if my daughter gets a terrible teacher and it is all my fault?" I worried. As I was pleading for God to redeem this situation, He spoke to me comfortingly, "Child, this is what I had planned all along. Toria is exactly where I want her to be. Remember, I am sovereign."
There is peace in knowing that in all things, especially in our weaknesses and limitations, God works for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28). His counsel shall stand, and He will accomplish all His purpose (Isaiah 46:10). It cannot be thwarted (Job 42:2). For He will complete what he appoints for us (Job 23:14).
Our personal limitations serve as a constant reminder that we are completely dependent upon God. Even as we strive to serve Him to the best of out abilities, we can rest in the fact that His grace is sufficient for us; for God's power is made perfect in weakness (2. Cor 12:9).
Sunday, June 12, 2016
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Learning Repentance
None of us like being rebuked, but how we react to rebuke says a lot about what we believe about God and ourselves. Last year my pastor had to confront me for not handling a disagreement in a biblical manner. The rebuke was well deserved and his goal was restoration, not condemnation. Recognizing this and seeing his love for the church made it easier for me to repent and seek reconciliation.
The Bible tells us about two kings who were rightfully rebuked. Comparing their stories helps us to avoid pitfalls and to respond wisely when we need to repent.
The first king I would like to examine is Saul, who unlawfully offered a burnt offering because the people were scattering from him (1 Sam. 13:10). Pleasing his people was more important to him than obeying God's word. The prophet Samuel rebuked Saul by saying, "You have done foolishly ... Your kingdom shall not continue." (1 Sam. 13:13-14) Saul reacted pridefully. Rather than seeking God's glory, he set up a monument for himself (1 Sam. 15:12) and continued in sinful disobedience, so that Samuel had to confront him a second time: "Why did you not obey the voice of the Lord?" (1 Sam. 15:19). Still, Saul remained obstinate, not wanting to own up to his wrongdoing. "I have obeyed", he lied. To Saul, saving face was more important than being repentant: "I feared the people and obeyed their voice (15:24). "I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders," he demanded. (1 Sam. 15:30)
Saul had always been a hider. When the people wanted to make him king, he had "hidden himself among the baggage." (1 Sam 10:22) Now, just like Adam and Eve had done, he hid himself "from the presence of the Lord God" (Gen. 3:8) when he was called to be accountable for his actions.
Saul remained in a posture of pride, people pleasing and hiding from God for the rest of his life. Therefore "the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul and a harmful spirit from the Lord tormented him." (1 Sam. 16:14)
Now let's look at King David, a man who knew God intimately and practiced seeking God's glory above his own. In contrast to Saul, who erected a monument to himself, David desired to build a temple for the Lord. When he came under discipline, David responded in a God-fearing, humble manner. "The Lord sent Nathan to David, He came to him and said to him ... 'Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife'" (2 Sam. 12:1, 9). David immediately repented and confessed: "I have sinned against the Lord" (2. Sam. 12:13). His relationship with God was restored: "I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover my iniquity; I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord', and you forgave the iniquity of my sin" (Ps. 32:5). Instead of inheriting Saul's harmful spirit, David asked God to "renew a right spirit within" him (Ps. 51:10). He learned that "the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit" (Ps. 51:17), not the self-serving sacrifices of Saul.
The three postures and underlying lies that kept Saul from reacting with humility, as his successor David did, are the same that many times hinder us from running to God. We can learn to identify the lies that keep us captive and replace them with the truth.
1. Fear of man vs. Fear of God
Lie: It is my job to make everyone happy.
Truth: If I am still trying to please man, I cannot please God.
Lie: My value depends on what others think of me.
Truth: God gives my life value.
2. Pride vs. Humility
Lie: God is not concerned with my best interest.
Truth: I can completely trust that God's way is the best for me.
Lie: My goal in life is to achieve fame and riches.
Truth: My goal is to glorify God with my life.
Lie: God does not have a special plan for my life.
Truth: God has a special plan for my life.
3. Hiding vs. Living in God's light
Lie: God does not really love me.
Truth: God loves me and nothing I do will change that.
Lie: God likes to make me feel bad about my sins because He does not want me
to be happy.
Truth: God wants me to feel bad about my sins so that I will repent and have a restored relationship with Him.
Lie: God cannot redeem all the bad things in my life.
Truth: God can and will redeem everything for my good and His glory.
Because David believed that God is who He says He is, Satan's lies did not stand a chance with him. And like this "man after God's own heart," when we replace Satan's lies with God's truth, we will run to Him who can "create in us a clean heart" and "restore unto us the joy of His salvation" (Ps. 51:12).
The Bible tells us about two kings who were rightfully rebuked. Comparing their stories helps us to avoid pitfalls and to respond wisely when we need to repent.
The first king I would like to examine is Saul, who unlawfully offered a burnt offering because the people were scattering from him (1 Sam. 13:10). Pleasing his people was more important to him than obeying God's word. The prophet Samuel rebuked Saul by saying, "You have done foolishly ... Your kingdom shall not continue." (1 Sam. 13:13-14) Saul reacted pridefully. Rather than seeking God's glory, he set up a monument for himself (1 Sam. 15:12) and continued in sinful disobedience, so that Samuel had to confront him a second time: "Why did you not obey the voice of the Lord?" (1 Sam. 15:19). Still, Saul remained obstinate, not wanting to own up to his wrongdoing. "I have obeyed", he lied. To Saul, saving face was more important than being repentant: "I feared the people and obeyed their voice (15:24). "I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders," he demanded. (1 Sam. 15:30)
Saul had always been a hider. When the people wanted to make him king, he had "hidden himself among the baggage." (1 Sam 10:22) Now, just like Adam and Eve had done, he hid himself "from the presence of the Lord God" (Gen. 3:8) when he was called to be accountable for his actions.
Saul remained in a posture of pride, people pleasing and hiding from God for the rest of his life. Therefore "the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul and a harmful spirit from the Lord tormented him." (1 Sam. 16:14)
Now let's look at King David, a man who knew God intimately and practiced seeking God's glory above his own. In contrast to Saul, who erected a monument to himself, David desired to build a temple for the Lord. When he came under discipline, David responded in a God-fearing, humble manner. "The Lord sent Nathan to David, He came to him and said to him ... 'Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife'" (2 Sam. 12:1, 9). David immediately repented and confessed: "I have sinned against the Lord" (2. Sam. 12:13). His relationship with God was restored: "I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover my iniquity; I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord', and you forgave the iniquity of my sin" (Ps. 32:5). Instead of inheriting Saul's harmful spirit, David asked God to "renew a right spirit within" him (Ps. 51:10). He learned that "the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit" (Ps. 51:17), not the self-serving sacrifices of Saul.
The three postures and underlying lies that kept Saul from reacting with humility, as his successor David did, are the same that many times hinder us from running to God. We can learn to identify the lies that keep us captive and replace them with the truth.
1. Fear of man vs. Fear of God
Lie: It is my job to make everyone happy.
Truth: If I am still trying to please man, I cannot please God.
Lie: My value depends on what others think of me.
Truth: God gives my life value.
2. Pride vs. Humility
Lie: God is not concerned with my best interest.
Truth: I can completely trust that God's way is the best for me.
Lie: My goal in life is to achieve fame and riches.
Truth: My goal is to glorify God with my life.
Lie: God does not have a special plan for my life.
Truth: God has a special plan for my life.
3. Hiding vs. Living in God's light
Lie: God does not really love me.
Truth: God loves me and nothing I do will change that.
Lie: God likes to make me feel bad about my sins because He does not want me
to be happy.
Truth: God wants me to feel bad about my sins so that I will repent and have a restored relationship with Him.
Lie: God cannot redeem all the bad things in my life.
Truth: God can and will redeem everything for my good and His glory.
Because David believed that God is who He says He is, Satan's lies did not stand a chance with him. And like this "man after God's own heart," when we replace Satan's lies with God's truth, we will run to Him who can "create in us a clean heart" and "restore unto us the joy of His salvation" (Ps. 51:12).
Sunday, May 22, 2016
It is not About Being Impressive
"What was to be the value of the long looked forward to ... wisdom of age? Had they deceived us or deceived themselves?" These are questions posed by author T.S. Eliot in "The Four Quartets," as he expresses his disappointment over the realization that old age does not necessarily bring wisdom and is not automatically bestowed upon us with the advent of grey hair.
In fact, the Bible instructs people of any age to actively hunt for wisdom. In the book of Proverbs we are urged to call out for insight (2:3) and to seek it like silver (2:4). God promises to reward those who pursue wisdom and He generously bestows it on those who ask (James 1:5).
But what is wisdom?
While the world looks for impressive words and the display of one's greatness through riches, titles and positions, this kind of "wisdom" is folly with God (1 Cor. 3:19), because it is fading and has no eternal value. Rather than being measured by our mental capacities and verbal capabilities, Biblical wisdom is reflected in our behavior, what we do on a day-to-day basis. This is most clearly stated in Deuteronomy 4:46, which says that keeping God's rules and statutes is our wisdom.
This truth is also expressed throughout the book of Proverbs. Here, wisdom is described as being disciplined; working hard and then honoring God with one's earnings by tithing and giving alms; staying debt-free (3:9); and protecting the weak and less fortunate. It includes learning contentment, rather than being eaten up with envy (3:31), humbly remembering that God made us and everything that we are blessed with (3:21). Humility is a central theme, as the wise willingly accept discipline from the Lord and reproof from man (3:11). Proverbs also echoes the Ten Commandments by revealing the wise person as truthful (4:24), faithful (6:32) and a blessing to his neighbor (3:25).
God's agenda is completely opposite to that of those who are wise in their own eyes. While the worldly wise desire to flaunt their own greatness, followers of Christ who value Godly wisdom are to pray for a spirit of wisdom that we may know the hope, the riches and greatness of God (Eph. 1:17). God is looking for humble hearts and actions that reflect His character through understanding His riches and greatness. It is not about being impressive, but about being impressed by God.
T.S. Eliot came to the same conclusion in his poem, "The Four Quartets": "Do not let me hear of the wisdom of old men... The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless."
In fact, the Bible instructs people of any age to actively hunt for wisdom. In the book of Proverbs we are urged to call out for insight (2:3) and to seek it like silver (2:4). God promises to reward those who pursue wisdom and He generously bestows it on those who ask (James 1:5).
But what is wisdom?
While the world looks for impressive words and the display of one's greatness through riches, titles and positions, this kind of "wisdom" is folly with God (1 Cor. 3:19), because it is fading and has no eternal value. Rather than being measured by our mental capacities and verbal capabilities, Biblical wisdom is reflected in our behavior, what we do on a day-to-day basis. This is most clearly stated in Deuteronomy 4:46, which says that keeping God's rules and statutes is our wisdom.
This truth is also expressed throughout the book of Proverbs. Here, wisdom is described as being disciplined; working hard and then honoring God with one's earnings by tithing and giving alms; staying debt-free (3:9); and protecting the weak and less fortunate. It includes learning contentment, rather than being eaten up with envy (3:31), humbly remembering that God made us and everything that we are blessed with (3:21). Humility is a central theme, as the wise willingly accept discipline from the Lord and reproof from man (3:11). Proverbs also echoes the Ten Commandments by revealing the wise person as truthful (4:24), faithful (6:32) and a blessing to his neighbor (3:25).
God's agenda is completely opposite to that of those who are wise in their own eyes. While the worldly wise desire to flaunt their own greatness, followers of Christ who value Godly wisdom are to pray for a spirit of wisdom that we may know the hope, the riches and greatness of God (Eph. 1:17). God is looking for humble hearts and actions that reflect His character through understanding His riches and greatness. It is not about being impressive, but about being impressed by God.
T.S. Eliot came to the same conclusion in his poem, "The Four Quartets": "Do not let me hear of the wisdom of old men... The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless."
Thursday, May 12, 2016
A Call to Sacrificial Love
"I feel sorry for everyone who is married." These words of mine as a teenager were not a lopsided endorsement for the gift of celibacy, but born out of disappointment and hurt from having encountered so many broken marriages. I also liked making decisions for myself and 1 Cor. 7:4 seemed like a daunting thought to me: "For the wife does not have authority over her body but her husband does." (ESV)
"My future husband should have authority over my body?!" I questioned. "What if he chooses to be harsh and unkind?"
So how on earth did I ever get married? First, I had to make an active choice to believe that God's plan in marriage is good, instead of giving way to fear. Repeatedly during our engagement, my fiancee patiently reminded me that we were "first generation" -- the first believers on both sides of our family. God had made a difference in our lives and He would make a difference in our marriage, also.
Today, 18 years later, 1 Cor. 7:4 is not scary to me anymore. Rather than reading into this verse a license for selfishness, I have come to realize that Paul means quite the opposite. The New International Version (NIV) translates it this way: "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband." This is actually a beautiful invitation for the husband to love sacrificially. Beyond the husband's calling in Eph. 5.8 to love his wife as his own body, he is even to consider her body his own. He naturally looks out for his own physical needs for nourishment, rest, covering, shelter, comfort, and protection and would never dream of unnecessarily inflicting pain on his own body. So in giving myself to my husband I can assume that he will love my physical body as his own, looking out for my best interests.
God is concerned about our everyday lives, which makes the Bible wonderfully practical. The context of this verse is focused on our human sexuality with it's God-given drives and desires. By putting 1. Cor 7:4 into practice, we shore up our marriages against abuse on one side and neglect on the other. This verse calls us to love sacrificially and selflessly; a misinterpretation could lead to unbiblical domination or abuse, but any such misunderstanding of Paul's message should be dismissed. This is especially true since the Bible verse goes both ways: "In the same way the husband's body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife." (1. Cor 7:4 NIV) As a wife, I am also to love my husband by longing to meet his needs, considering his body my own.
When confronted with our own human weakness in fulfilling this call to sacrificial love, we need to look to Christ for strength, just like my husband reminded his fearful fiancee many years ago: "God makes a difference."
"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13)
"My future husband should have authority over my body?!" I questioned. "What if he chooses to be harsh and unkind?"
So how on earth did I ever get married? First, I had to make an active choice to believe that God's plan in marriage is good, instead of giving way to fear. Repeatedly during our engagement, my fiancee patiently reminded me that we were "first generation" -- the first believers on both sides of our family. God had made a difference in our lives and He would make a difference in our marriage, also.
Today, 18 years later, 1 Cor. 7:4 is not scary to me anymore. Rather than reading into this verse a license for selfishness, I have come to realize that Paul means quite the opposite. The New International Version (NIV) translates it this way: "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband." This is actually a beautiful invitation for the husband to love sacrificially. Beyond the husband's calling in Eph. 5.8 to love his wife as his own body, he is even to consider her body his own. He naturally looks out for his own physical needs for nourishment, rest, covering, shelter, comfort, and protection and would never dream of unnecessarily inflicting pain on his own body. So in giving myself to my husband I can assume that he will love my physical body as his own, looking out for my best interests.
God is concerned about our everyday lives, which makes the Bible wonderfully practical. The context of this verse is focused on our human sexuality with it's God-given drives and desires. By putting 1. Cor 7:4 into practice, we shore up our marriages against abuse on one side and neglect on the other. This verse calls us to love sacrificially and selflessly; a misinterpretation could lead to unbiblical domination or abuse, but any such misunderstanding of Paul's message should be dismissed. This is especially true since the Bible verse goes both ways: "In the same way the husband's body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife." (1. Cor 7:4 NIV) As a wife, I am also to love my husband by longing to meet his needs, considering his body my own.
When confronted with our own human weakness in fulfilling this call to sacrificial love, we need to look to Christ for strength, just like my husband reminded his fearful fiancee many years ago: "God makes a difference."
"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13)
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Train up a Child
When my husband and I started dating, we decided to alternate languages, speaking English one day and German the next. "This will be great! J. can help me with my English, while I can serve him in working on his German," ... or so I thought. Little did I know that my boyfriend had studied every minute detail of the German language, making him willing and able to correct me in my native tongue. What a blow to my pride! It took me a while to appreciate his grammatical abilities. Now I see that my husband studies the language usage in the Bible with that same intensity and sees details that others may overlook.
Proverbs 22:6 is a clear example of this: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." This sounds like an amazing formula to success, promising that faithful training automatically produces godly offspring. Oftentimes it does, but experience shows that even children from Christian homes, who have enjoyed the best training, sometimes choose to walk away from faith in Jesus Christ. Their parents feel shattered, having put their hope in the Biblical promise of Proverbs 22:6. They ask in disbelief, "What happened? This is not the way it's supposed to be!" After the initial shock, guilt sets in. Any failure of the child to adhere to Biblical standards is laid at the parents' feet. "Their training must have not been good enough," we assume. This Bible verse becomes a source of heartache and disappointment for many.
This is where my husband's love for grammar is helpful. J. was able to explain to me that because "the way" and "child" both share the masculine gender in the Hebrew language, a different translation of Proverbs 22:6 is grammatically possible and would read this way: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old it will not depart from him."
Is this rendering of verse plausible? Let's take a look ...
First, the Bible repeatedly emphasizes that it is possible for a child to reject the instruction of his parents. The Bible offers no guarantees that our children will always walk in the prescribed path. This alternate translation of Proverbs 22:6 seems to line up with that reality. If we go with the more popular rendering of the verse, it would seem to be in conflict with other Scriptures.
Second, we can find more examples in Scripture of things departing from people than people departing from things. For example, the Word talks about the scepter not departing from Judah (Gen. 49:6), and strength departing from Samson (Judges 16:19). Our alternate translation is consistent with this pattern, as it says God's truth will not depart from a child trained up in it.
Convinced that this translation is possible and probable, let's now draw encouragement from this verse. The self-condemnation under which some parents have lived for many years has lost its grip. No longer can a poor choice made by a son or daughter of Christian parents be understood as lack of training. This new rendering of the verse promises that "the way" which has been imparted to the children of Christian parents remains as a living voice, continuing to call them for the rest of their lives. This is a message of hope rather than heartache for those whose children seem to have fallen away.
Parents, let's respond to the charge to train up the children who are in our care, and pray for those who have chosen not to live by the Biblical truths they were taught. Take heart in the knowledge that "the way" remains in them, serving as a constant reminder of the truth and calling them to a relationship with God. May they listen and ignore it no longer.
Proverbs 22:6 is a clear example of this: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." This sounds like an amazing formula to success, promising that faithful training automatically produces godly offspring. Oftentimes it does, but experience shows that even children from Christian homes, who have enjoyed the best training, sometimes choose to walk away from faith in Jesus Christ. Their parents feel shattered, having put their hope in the Biblical promise of Proverbs 22:6. They ask in disbelief, "What happened? This is not the way it's supposed to be!" After the initial shock, guilt sets in. Any failure of the child to adhere to Biblical standards is laid at the parents' feet. "Their training must have not been good enough," we assume. This Bible verse becomes a source of heartache and disappointment for many.
This is where my husband's love for grammar is helpful. J. was able to explain to me that because "the way" and "child" both share the masculine gender in the Hebrew language, a different translation of Proverbs 22:6 is grammatically possible and would read this way: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old it will not depart from him."
Is this rendering of verse plausible? Let's take a look ...
First, the Bible repeatedly emphasizes that it is possible for a child to reject the instruction of his parents. The Bible offers no guarantees that our children will always walk in the prescribed path. This alternate translation of Proverbs 22:6 seems to line up with that reality. If we go with the more popular rendering of the verse, it would seem to be in conflict with other Scriptures.
Second, we can find more examples in Scripture of things departing from people than people departing from things. For example, the Word talks about the scepter not departing from Judah (Gen. 49:6), and strength departing from Samson (Judges 16:19). Our alternate translation is consistent with this pattern, as it says God's truth will not depart from a child trained up in it.
Convinced that this translation is possible and probable, let's now draw encouragement from this verse. The self-condemnation under which some parents have lived for many years has lost its grip. No longer can a poor choice made by a son or daughter of Christian parents be understood as lack of training. This new rendering of the verse promises that "the way" which has been imparted to the children of Christian parents remains as a living voice, continuing to call them for the rest of their lives. This is a message of hope rather than heartache for those whose children seem to have fallen away.
Parents, let's respond to the charge to train up the children who are in our care, and pray for those who have chosen not to live by the Biblical truths they were taught. Take heart in the knowledge that "the way" remains in them, serving as a constant reminder of the truth and calling them to a relationship with God. May they listen and ignore it no longer.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Comfort My People
Death is one of those taboo topics in our culture. It is intimidating to witness the suffering which grief brings about, because we don't know how to respond and we realize that we do not have any answers. This makes us feel helpless and uncomfortable. Understanding grief will aid us in learning how to provide comfort for the grieving. The Old Testament figure, Job, knew grief intimately after loosing his children, property and health overnight. His experience gives a clear picture of what a grief-stricken person is going through:
1. Lack of appetite: "My appetite refuses." (Job 6:7)
2. Lack of sleep: "The night is long and I am full of tossing till the dawn." (Job 7:4)
3. Hopelessness: "My eye will never again see good." (Job 7:7)
4. Desire for one's own death: "I loathe my life." (Job 9:2)
5. Exhaustion: "God has worn me out!" (Job 16:7)
6. Tunnel vision: "...he feels only the pain of his own body, and he mourns only for himself." (Job 14:22)
All these thoughts and emotions were very familiar to me in the years following our daughter Ani's death. Many wonderful friends recognized this and tried to help in any way they could. They made meals, took care of the kids, folded clothes and even cleaned the kitchen for the funeral reception. Their loving-kindness was truly overwhelming and appreciated.
Job also had some amazing friends. We usually don't acknowledge their extraordinary faithfulness and only see their heartless accusations, but these three men sat beside Job for an entire week without uttering a single word. Unlike his companions' initial response, in an attempt to comfort, our most common reaction is to speak too much and give answers which only seem insulting. Later-on, Job was given his share of platitudes and responded to his friends by asking: "How then will you comfort with empty nothings?" (Job 21:34) He sarcastically praises them with the words: "How you have helped him who has no power!" (Job 26:2) There were times when I was tempted to respond in a similar manner to "empty nothings" such as: "God needed another rose in His garden", "God wanted another angel in heaven", or "God has saved you child from growing up in sin." Human attempts to provide explanations ring hollow and therefore never bring relief. There are ways to bring comfort through the words we say, such as: "I am so sorry!", "I am grieving with you.", "I am praying for you." These simple statements bring reassurance that one is not grieving alone.
What a grieving person wants most is the comfort of your presence and a listening ear. Job expressed this well when he made the following requests: "Oh that you would keep silent!" (Job 13:5), "Let me have silence, and I will speak." (Job 13:13), "Keep listening to my words and let this be your comfort. Bear with me and I will speak." (Job 21:2+3)
Ultimately, though we need to be aware that we will only be able to provide relief to a certain degree. Recognizing that "God is the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction" (2. Cor. 1:3), we realize that only He can provide the supernatural peace, lasting encouragement and constant presence needed in this situation. One way we can help direct a grieving person to God is by offering to pray for them. There were times when my grief was so heavy that I would cry for hours. That is when I would pick up the phone and call my friend, Kim, who was always ready to pray for me. In these situations we sometimes need others to believe for us, by speaking out truths about God and ourselves. That is exactly what Kim did for me so that eventually I could echo Job, not only in his laments, but also in his deepened relationship with God, saying: "I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;" (Job 42:5)
Let us aim to be a true comfort to the grieving through acts of kindness, reassuring words, a listening ear, and a readiness to pray.
"Comfort, comfort my people, says your God." (Isaiah 40:1)
1. Lack of appetite: "My appetite refuses." (Job 6:7)
2. Lack of sleep: "The night is long and I am full of tossing till the dawn." (Job 7:4)
3. Hopelessness: "My eye will never again see good." (Job 7:7)
4. Desire for one's own death: "I loathe my life." (Job 9:2)
5. Exhaustion: "God has worn me out!" (Job 16:7)
6. Tunnel vision: "...he feels only the pain of his own body, and he mourns only for himself." (Job 14:22)
All these thoughts and emotions were very familiar to me in the years following our daughter Ani's death. Many wonderful friends recognized this and tried to help in any way they could. They made meals, took care of the kids, folded clothes and even cleaned the kitchen for the funeral reception. Their loving-kindness was truly overwhelming and appreciated.
Job also had some amazing friends. We usually don't acknowledge their extraordinary faithfulness and only see their heartless accusations, but these three men sat beside Job for an entire week without uttering a single word. Unlike his companions' initial response, in an attempt to comfort, our most common reaction is to speak too much and give answers which only seem insulting. Later-on, Job was given his share of platitudes and responded to his friends by asking: "How then will you comfort with empty nothings?" (Job 21:34) He sarcastically praises them with the words: "How you have helped him who has no power!" (Job 26:2) There were times when I was tempted to respond in a similar manner to "empty nothings" such as: "God needed another rose in His garden", "God wanted another angel in heaven", or "God has saved you child from growing up in sin." Human attempts to provide explanations ring hollow and therefore never bring relief. There are ways to bring comfort through the words we say, such as: "I am so sorry!", "I am grieving with you.", "I am praying for you." These simple statements bring reassurance that one is not grieving alone.
What a grieving person wants most is the comfort of your presence and a listening ear. Job expressed this well when he made the following requests: "Oh that you would keep silent!" (Job 13:5), "Let me have silence, and I will speak." (Job 13:13), "Keep listening to my words and let this be your comfort. Bear with me and I will speak." (Job 21:2+3)
Ultimately, though we need to be aware that we will only be able to provide relief to a certain degree. Recognizing that "God is the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction" (2. Cor. 1:3), we realize that only He can provide the supernatural peace, lasting encouragement and constant presence needed in this situation. One way we can help direct a grieving person to God is by offering to pray for them. There were times when my grief was so heavy that I would cry for hours. That is when I would pick up the phone and call my friend, Kim, who was always ready to pray for me. In these situations we sometimes need others to believe for us, by speaking out truths about God and ourselves. That is exactly what Kim did for me so that eventually I could echo Job, not only in his laments, but also in his deepened relationship with God, saying: "I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;" (Job 42:5)
Let us aim to be a true comfort to the grieving through acts of kindness, reassuring words, a listening ear, and a readiness to pray.
"Comfort, comfort my people, says your God." (Isaiah 40:1)
Monday, April 11, 2016
Royal Mothers
Genealogies seem so boring that I often skip them altogether when reading through an Old Testament book. Today I want to provide you with a good reason to pause at the introduction of each King of Israel and Judah. There is an intriguing pattern in the way most OT kings are introduced. After their name and heritage is given, their mother's name is also provided. Immediately after her mention comes the verdict whether this king was good or evil in the sight of the Lord. I believe this is no coincidence but rather the summation of the mother's influence on her son's life.
e.g.
"Amaziah...began to reign. His mother's name was Jeoaddin of Jerusalem. And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord." (2.Kings 14:1-3)
For other good kings and their mothers, see Jehosaphat (1.Kings 22:42+43), Azariah (2.Kings 15:1-3) Pekah (2.Kings 15:32-34), Hezekiah (2.Kings 18:1-3), and Josiah (2.Kings 22:1+2).
Jehoiachin... became king. His mother's name was Nehushta. And he did what was evil in the sight of the Lord." (2.Kings 24:8-9)
For other evil kings and their mothers, see Abijam (1.Kings 15:1-3), Manasseh (2.Kings 21:1-2), Amon (2.Kings 21:19-20), Jehoahaz (2.Kings 23:31-32), Jehoiakim (2.Kings 23:36-37), and Zedekiah (2.Kings 24:18-19).
It seems clear that the way these mothers raised their sons had a direct impact on the kind of king these boys turned out to be. If you are ever in doubt about your role of training your child up in godliness, turn to 1. and 2. Kings. These genealogies serve as an encouragement and exhortation to us mothers. Of course there are exceptions as seen in 1.Kings 15:9-13 where the good king Asa had an idol-worshiping mom. Generally speaking, though, it is obvious that we as mothers have a great impact on the spiritual inclinations of our children.
This is not written to discredit the role of the father, but to encourage mothers and grandmothers to do all they can to raise godly offspring. Ideally this should be a team effort, but even if you find yourself in a situation where the father is not present or shows little spiritual interest, it is your calling, mother, to teach your child God's ways, "talking of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (Deut. 6:7)
It is easy to become overwhelmed by the responsibility we bear. One simple way to weave spiritual instruction into our days is to have family devotions. Getting started is often the biggest hurdle, so I would like to give you three pointers:
1. Choose a time that suits everyone.
In order to make it a habit, it is good to set a regular time for family devotions. When to get together depends on your preference and practicality. When our kids were younger we used to have family devotions at night before tucking the kids in bed. Today our kids have differing bedtimes according to their ages, which makes it more practical to have devotions right after supper, when everyone is still gathered around the table.
2. Choose a devotional.
Of course you can read straight our of you regular Bible and explain the passage to your children, but there are also some great materials out there for kids. To narrow down the choices to a manageable amount I would like to give you a list of our family favorites.
Preschool Age:
- Pray and Play Bible I & II, Group Publishing Inc. (14 chapters each)
- ABC Bible Verses, by Susan Hunt (26 chapters)
Lower Primary:
- Big Truths for Little Kids, teaching your children to live for God, by Susan and Richie Hunt (36 chapters)
Primary:
- The Jesus Storybook Bible, by Sally Lloyd-Jones (44 chapters)
- Discovering Jesus in Genesis, by Susan Hunt and Richie Hunt (36 chapters)
- Discovering Jesus in Exodus, by Susan and Richie Hunt (36 chapters)
- Sammy and His Shepherd, seeing Jesus in Psalm 23, by Susan Hunt (11 chapters)
- Wisdom and the Millers, Proverbs for children, by Mildred Martin (25 chapters)
- School Days with the Millers, by Mildred Martin (24 chapters
- Story-time with the Millers, by Mildred Martin (12 chapters)
3. Keep it simple.
- Read the devotional or Bible passage.
- Give the kids the opportunity to ask questions or comment. The devotionals by Susan Hunt provide the parent with discussion questions.
- Talk about prayer requests.
- Pray, giving each family member the freedom to join in.
- We end our time by praying the Lord's Prayer, together.
May we be like the royal mothers, whose sons did what was right in the eyes of the Lord.
e.g.
"Amaziah...began to reign. His mother's name was Jeoaddin of Jerusalem. And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord." (2.Kings 14:1-3)
For other good kings and their mothers, see Jehosaphat (1.Kings 22:42+43), Azariah (2.Kings 15:1-3) Pekah (2.Kings 15:32-34), Hezekiah (2.Kings 18:1-3), and Josiah (2.Kings 22:1+2).
Jehoiachin... became king. His mother's name was Nehushta. And he did what was evil in the sight of the Lord." (2.Kings 24:8-9)
For other evil kings and their mothers, see Abijam (1.Kings 15:1-3), Manasseh (2.Kings 21:1-2), Amon (2.Kings 21:19-20), Jehoahaz (2.Kings 23:31-32), Jehoiakim (2.Kings 23:36-37), and Zedekiah (2.Kings 24:18-19).
It seems clear that the way these mothers raised their sons had a direct impact on the kind of king these boys turned out to be. If you are ever in doubt about your role of training your child up in godliness, turn to 1. and 2. Kings. These genealogies serve as an encouragement and exhortation to us mothers. Of course there are exceptions as seen in 1.Kings 15:9-13 where the good king Asa had an idol-worshiping mom. Generally speaking, though, it is obvious that we as mothers have a great impact on the spiritual inclinations of our children.
This is not written to discredit the role of the father, but to encourage mothers and grandmothers to do all they can to raise godly offspring. Ideally this should be a team effort, but even if you find yourself in a situation where the father is not present or shows little spiritual interest, it is your calling, mother, to teach your child God's ways, "talking of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (Deut. 6:7)
It is easy to become overwhelmed by the responsibility we bear. One simple way to weave spiritual instruction into our days is to have family devotions. Getting started is often the biggest hurdle, so I would like to give you three pointers:
1. Choose a time that suits everyone.
In order to make it a habit, it is good to set a regular time for family devotions. When to get together depends on your preference and practicality. When our kids were younger we used to have family devotions at night before tucking the kids in bed. Today our kids have differing bedtimes according to their ages, which makes it more practical to have devotions right after supper, when everyone is still gathered around the table.
2. Choose a devotional.
Of course you can read straight our of you regular Bible and explain the passage to your children, but there are also some great materials out there for kids. To narrow down the choices to a manageable amount I would like to give you a list of our family favorites.
Preschool Age:
- Pray and Play Bible I & II, Group Publishing Inc. (14 chapters each)
- ABC Bible Verses, by Susan Hunt (26 chapters)
Lower Primary:
- Big Truths for Little Kids, teaching your children to live for God, by Susan and Richie Hunt (36 chapters)
Primary:
- The Jesus Storybook Bible, by Sally Lloyd-Jones (44 chapters)
- Discovering Jesus in Genesis, by Susan Hunt and Richie Hunt (36 chapters)
- Discovering Jesus in Exodus, by Susan and Richie Hunt (36 chapters)
- Sammy and His Shepherd, seeing Jesus in Psalm 23, by Susan Hunt (11 chapters)
- Wisdom and the Millers, Proverbs for children, by Mildred Martin (25 chapters)
- School Days with the Millers, by Mildred Martin (24 chapters
- Story-time with the Millers, by Mildred Martin (12 chapters)
3. Keep it simple.
- Read the devotional or Bible passage.
- Give the kids the opportunity to ask questions or comment. The devotionals by Susan Hunt provide the parent with discussion questions.
- Talk about prayer requests.
- Pray, giving each family member the freedom to join in.
- We end our time by praying the Lord's Prayer, together.
May we be like the royal mothers, whose sons did what was right in the eyes of the Lord.
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